Before our au pairs leave to the USA we tell them that
communication is the key to success. By that we mean that you need to speak up
if you do not understand or agree with something, need help or support from you
host family. Never assume that your host family knows how you are feeling or
thinking. Your host family does not know you very well when you arrive, they do
not know the family you grew up with and are not familiar with your home
country or culture. They have probably never been an au pair before themselves and
do not know how it is to live and work at the same place.
You need to make them aware of if there something you are
not comfortable with right away before it will become a problem. In the
beginning it might not even be a problem but I promise you if you continue get
frustrated about something it will grow into a bigger issue and at that point
it might be too late to solve.
It is though very important to be open minded and flexible
to make things work. You need to respect the family as they are and their rules
when it comes to the house and the children. When you have a family on
your own you can make your rules and maybe you will do it as your host parents
did or maybe not - that is really up to you later on in life. If everything would
be just like at home and with your natural family you would not have the opportunity
to grow as a person and learn from the experience. Do not put so much energy on
why they are doing things “wrong”: it is just different. Is your way the
only correct way? Put the most of energy on other things they do and remember
there will never be a prefect host family. Each host family has advantages and
disadvantages, just like you have yours.
So start communicate immediately with you host family even
if you are afraid of awkward moment because when you have overcome that fear
the next time will be so much easier. A good example how to open up for a
conversation ;
1. Ask your host parents if they have time to sit down with you in the next few days.
2. When you are sitting down, tell them all the positive things you feel about them and everything you are thankful for.
3. Ask them if they have any feedback on you. Tell them you want to do a good job and want to improve your work.
4. Tell them how you feel.
5 Ask if there is some way we can meet half way when it comes to the “problem” or if they have any advice on how to solve this “problem.”
6. Listen and be open-minded and come to a solution you will try for a time.
7. Tell them that you are thankful they took their time and that you are happy we can have an open conversation about this.
1. Ask your host parents if they have time to sit down with you in the next few days.
2. When you are sitting down, tell them all the positive things you feel about them and everything you are thankful for.
3. Ask them if they have any feedback on you. Tell them you want to do a good job and want to improve your work.
4. Tell them how you feel.
5 Ask if there is some way we can meet half way when it comes to the “problem” or if they have any advice on how to solve this “problem.”
6. Listen and be open-minded and come to a solution you will try for a time.
7. Tell them that you are thankful they took their time and that you are happy we can have an open conversation about this.
Make sure you do not end up like these penguins - looking at different directions and not discussing!
