Getting over homesickness!

No one goes into the au pair program thinking they will be homesick. I can probably say that the majority of our candidates listen to our preparation workshops thinking that it does not pertain to them at all. The fact is however that we see almost 9 out of 10 au pairs getting homesick. It is something that happens to almost everyone, but of course to varying degrees.

 As we say in a lot of our courses, homesickness can be anything from just a slight longing to full-blown sadness. It can be triggered from anything from spending Christmas eve away from your family to clicking through Facebook pictures of what your friends are doing back home. The most important thing to remember, however severe your homesickness is, is that it is okay. You are allowed to feel homesickness, to feel sad, and, most importantly, to ask for help.

We at Cultural Care Au Pair have over 26 years of experience dealing with this. We have a lot of advice, tips, and tricks to get through those tough times. The majority of us have even been au pairs ourselves and those tips come directly from our own personal experience. Your host family also understands where you are coming from, that you are in a new country, and that you are leaving things behind. Your new au pair friends will also be in the same boat as you and might just be too afraid to be the one to bring it up.

 I personally believe that one of the best ways to get through homesickness is having the right expectations and attitude. Believing in yourself is something that will get you far and will be useful no matter which path you take in life. I do understand that it is easier said than done, but going into your au pair time with the expectation that you WILL have tough times and the attitude that you WILL get through it is the first step to a successful experience.

Holidays away from near and dear ones

For many that travel as au pairs, this means the first Christmas away from near and dear ones.
It can be hard, and we know that many au pairs experience homesickness during the holidays.

If it happens to you, please keep this mind:
* You are not alone. Many au pairs feel this way. It’s normal, and it will get better.
* This is a once in a lifetime experience. Regardless if you are celebrating Hanukkah with your host-family, an American Christmas or not at all – it’s part of the experience. In a year from now, you will look back and remember the holidays as part of an overall developing, exciting, sometimes tough, but life-changing experience.
* It’s only one holiday out of many. Next year you are back to your old routines.
* Stay as active as you can. The more you want to go in to your room and pull the cover over your head – the more you need to push yourself out there.
* Embrace it! Share some of your family’s traditions with your host-family. Maybe the homesickness will feel a bit better.


If not – remember that you have a network of other au pairs that can offer support. You are all in the same boat, and even if you experience the holidays slightly different – you can always support each other. Sometimes it’s better to talk to them – talking to your family back home may increase your homesickness.

Our office is open on December 22nd and 23rd, December 29th and 30th and then on January 2nd and from January 7th it’s open as normal again. Those days you are of course welcome to call an email. Our emergency number in the Boston office is always open.

Enjoy your time and stay warm!
Victoria and the ladies in the Stockholm office

To feel at home, even when far away

We go abroad as au pairs because we want to spend time with children, we want to see new things, see new places and get to know new people. We want to leave our “safety box” and leave the daily life we know way to well. At the same time though, when we finally has a place at the other side of the globe, we will at some points miss home.
Different people in my group of au pair friends dealt with homesickness differently of course. Some made a call home, some e-mailed friends and some “liked” pictures and happenings that friends at home posted. This was not my of dealing with the lovely home sickness-visitor. I did not to want to be at home, I just missed it a little bit.
So what I did, was to bring a little of home to me. I took both my au pair friends but also my American friends and with proud I showed them Ikea. Except from eating the classic meatballs I bought, caviar, chocolate and of course salt licorice. Basically everyone loved the chocolate but I, luckily for me, got to keep the salt licorice for myself. 
So, instead of thinking of my friends back home I spend time with my new friends and got the opportunity to show them a little bit of Sweden, and I got to feel a little bit at home, at the same time.

Few words about homesickness!

We have talked about homesickness that our au pairs experience in the blog before as well, but we also believe that it is a very important subject to bring it up every now and then. We have au pairs traveling to the USA every week, and homesickness is something that everyone will face sooner or later - here are few words of the topic from Martina.

 

Homesickness. It’s something everyone will experience, whether you like it or not. Some experience it more than other, but trust me everybody will get homesickness at some point.

 

Something I remember from my time in the USA was that I had homesickness. I didn’t really want to admit it to myself, because I had a wonderful time in the USA, but even though I did not want to go home, I still really really missed it.  I remember one night, everything was sort of a routine, it was raining, I didn’t have too much to do, and it was my brother's birthday. For me it was kind of a hard day. I seriously considered staying home and sitting in the closet all day eating chocolate…. I knew I couldn’t do that, but the thought had crossed my mind.  So I kept going, I kept fighting and believe it or not I made it through that day.

Today, when I reflect on the homesickness I had,  I realize that it’s all aboutthe though: just keep going. There will be ups and downs, no matter if you like it or not. What I tell my au pairs today is that it’s important to just accept the situation. It's ok to be sad for a while.  I suggest to keep busy, make plans, have wonderful things to look forward to, because believe it or not things will get easier.

So when you are in the USA, promise me that if you have homesickness, let yourself  feel sad , but only for a little while. Make sure you communicate with your friends and host family so they know why you are sad.  Some of your friends might even be in the same situation as you are. Let them help you, let us, the Cultural Care Au Pair staff help you. Make plans, and be proud of yourself that you are in the USA, and don’t miss the chance to enjoy it. It will get better, and speaking from my own experience, when you get over the homesickness, time goes by so quickly. And before you know it you will have homesickness, longing to go back to the USA!

Enjoy your time as an au pair!

 

Homesickness - an unwanted visitor for an au pair

 

Homesickness - something that every au pair comes across to sooner or later. Homesickness is something, that you do not have to be ashamed over- it is perfectly normal that everyone faces ups and downs - what makes an au pair a successful au pair is how one handles homesickness! We thought it would be helpful to gather some thoughts and tips about homesickness here. If you have anything you would like to be sharing from your own experiences

All of us at the Stockholm office have experience from living abroad, far from our family and friends and everything familiar - we have been au pairs, exchange students, worked abroad and traveled extensively - we have all been at the very same spot as you!

Homesickness is a very sneaky friend - it sneaks upon to you during the moments when you definitely need it! Being an au pair is a very exciting adventure that brings also a lot of new things within - but also the new surroundings, new language, new people and new job can make it hard to adapt right away!

I could go on and write on and on about homesickess, but instead of focusing on that matter, I thought it would be better to just give you few concrete tips on how to tackle homesickness.

- BE BUSY! We always say that a busy and social au pair is happy au pair! I know that especially in the beginning it will take some time to find your way around, and talk about being tired - new language, new routines, so much to learn - but trust me, I have been there, and it is worth it! Make sure to connect with au pairs in your area, if possible even before you arrive so that you will have your own "circles" when you get there! Remember - you are not likely to feel better if you stay in your room by yourself - don't be alone!

- EXPLORE! You have taken a big step towards this adventure, and make sure to take the most out of this experience! Especially in the beginning you might feel tired and overwhelmed - but try your best to explore your surroundings. It does not always have to be a big adventure, sometimes it could be just getting a cup of coffee at the nearby Starbucks.

- HOMESICKNESS LETTER! Write yourself a so-called homesickness letter - write it when you are most excited about this experience and opportunity. Maybe you can list some of the things that you are most looking forward to doing and experiencing? Think how fun it is when you can cross of things from your bucket list along your experience?

Extra tip: Who to contact? It might feel that when you are down it would be natural to reach out to people at home - but actually, my best tip is not necessarily call home directly, it will just make you miss home more. How about going out for a bike ride with your host kid or going shopping with the au pair in next town? Soon you will see that you have a two homes - one here and one on the other side of the globe.

Homesickness can be tough sometimes, but remember, that you are not alone - we are here for you if you need any help. Do you have any ideas? Share your tips as well!